These past few days i have felt just awful, feeling something just wasnt right. i thought about what it might be and thought that since i am not so good at my emotions or expressing them to others that that was what was wrong. i semi picked a argument and said alot of thingsi shouldnt have to someone i do truly care alot about. but it didnt take away that sense of "something being wrong", so i felt bad, prayed about it, and saw the light. i have been afraid. too afraid to be better, not i made a choice and im feeling TONS better about it. but the something wrong feeling still not gone, i was getting frustrated and upset with this feeling. then i got a phone call from an aunt that i havent spoken to in 8 years. What a strong woman she is, she called to ask me for Angels number and my tia Cheyo`s number. as i was giving her the number for my tia, i explained that i didnt know where Angel was at. that he had left our family and no one really knows where he is. then i asked what she needed their numbers for after 8 years? she told me that my cousin, her oldest daughter Christina, passed away. i was shocked! the ni asked if she would mind telling how it happened and when it happened, she said that Christina committed suicide after having Post Pardum Depression and that her baby was only 4 months old. then she told me that Christina took her life in JULY. i was even more shocked! we talked about the whole fmaily and things that have happened in the time since i last saw her at her other daughter, Jackie`s, graaduation. lots of catching up to do. last night was eventful, i was able to open up a little more to Peter, and im really glad i did. =]
its a new begining for me and im happy about it!
♥
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