my Deal

when someone says

what is your deal?

.:angry tone:. i always think in my head, what is my deal?
how many times have i had a thought in my head that has nothing to do with anything around me, sometimes I think I have a mind of a child. i am easily amused which is why i like weird and funny songs with out profanity, dumb little Christmas movies that i have watched with my family for years, i talk to my animals sometimes as if they can answer me back, and i am pleased with the simple things in life. i am not an expensive girl, in no way shape or form, i have lived through tough times as i am sure many people have and i don't see it as a set back. of course i would like for my future children to have better than i did but i already knew they will for the little fact that i [as their birth mother] will love them more than anything in the world. also even before they are born they will have it better than i had it. my birth mother [Suezan] was not married to my father [Jose] when any one of us 3 kids were brought into this world. she smoke drank and did drugs while pregnant. will i do any of those things? NO.. i will be married before i start a family, i don't drink and smoke and i will never do drugs. i can go back even further, for my mother was not a member of a church that i know of. she did not have the Gospel of Jesus Christ in her life. may i one up her already. i belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am so proud to be a member and be raised in this church by my wonderful Mother Tanya. I try not to dwell on the fact that the world is crumbling because i cant help it. i cant change the fact that people years ago did not think before they took out serious actions in the government that i have no idea about in the first place. i know i should be worrying about this hard time and yet i am content with living my life the way i always have. and i can do that. i don't spend money like its going out of style, because it already has gone out, since i was not raised to be frivolous with my money. yes it is hard and i struggle with it but i don't go crazy. i will continue to go to church like we have been told that we should. i will continue to pray and read my scriptures because i have been told to and know that it is the right thing to do. i will continue to love my family through all the grief that they give me because at the end of they day they are still my family. i will continue to love Peter and watch it grow on a daily basis because i do love him and i do want to be with him for the rest of my life and the one hereafter. that's me. simple. secure. [sometimes].
that, is my deal